Guardian Demon
by RockyMountainGirl
Summary: Takes place in Neverland in the past, just after Bae discovers that Hook was the pirate who ran away with his mother. Uncertain what to do next, Hook gets some unexpected advice, and develops a plan. Focuses on Hook/Bae and has some Millian in it (but nothing that interferes with CS, don't worry). Later chapters will also include some Hook/Tink friendship, bonding, and backstory


_Damn it!_ Hook slammed the door to his quarters shut and flung his sword on the table. From his jacket he drew out the picture of Milah. It was perhaps his most treasured possession, and he had just left it lying out on his table for anyone to see… and the boy had.

He had meant to let the boy know eventually, but how in the world was he supposed to tell him? "Hey, you should know that I was madly in love with your mother. We ran away together and left you alone with your father who would ultimately abandon you, but I'm here now and I want to take care of you as my own" just didn't seem good enough. Now the boy wanted off the _Jolly Roger_ , to be left alone on Neverland.

There was a timid knock on the door and Smee poked his head in.

"Captain?" He started timidly, "we put the boy in the brig until you decide what's to be done with him. So he doesn't try to attack anyone else."

Hook nodded absently. "Thanks, that'll do Smee."

But Smee didn't leave. Instead he took another tentative step forward into the room. "Um, Captain… the men and I were wondering… just what are you planning to do with him? Surely now… after what just happened I mean… we can turn him over to Pan's boys. We can't just keep him on the ship, especially now he is a risk to-"

"Mister Smee!" Killian snapped. "I do not keep you around to ask questions. I need time to think on it and you will leave me to do just that until I decide what's best! Now leave."

"But Captain…"

"Out!"

Smee scurried away. Killian's temples throbbed with annoyance. He hated when his temper got away from him, and he knew Smee was right. The boy couldn't stay, but he didn't know what to do with him.

He looked back down at the picture of Milah. Suddenly, he felt very tired and sad. Years of being in this hellish land with nothing but his grief and rage weighing down on him. "I don't know what to do," he whispered to the small scrap of canvas, running his fingers over her image. "I don't know how to do right by you or the boy." He could feel the hot tears burning at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill, and hated himself for it.

He started running through the options out loud. "If I could, I would drop him off in some other land. But unfortunately, we are all trapped here until Pan deigns to let us go, which will very likely never happen. And I also can't just keep him on the ship. He's a danger to the crew and myself, and he'll probably just try to run away and what happens then? He'll be drowned by mermaids before he ever reaches the shore." He unscrewed his flask and took a deep swig of rum. "And what if I drop him off on shore anywhere, as he wishes? He won't last a week on that bloody island. He'll be hunted by the lost boys, and what happens if they corner him, or if he runs into some dreamshade…" Killian shuddered and violently threw the thought from his mind. "And then what if I turn him in to Pan? Aye, Smee and the others would like that, but Pan would turn him into a Lost Boy… a wild, hopeless thing devoid of any chance for a return to home or a family."

 _I could have become his family. This ship could have been his home._

There was also the small matter of the boy Pan was looking for, the special boy with the special heart. Hook had never seen the picture on the scroll Pan carried with him at all times, but he knew that Pan had big plans for that boy, and he doubted they were pleasant. _Surely it's not Bae. The odds would be… nearly impossible._ But Hook knew better by now than to question what was possible. He was, after all, trapped in a land where no one ever aged that was ruled by a ruthless teenager who sent his own detached shadow to do his dirty work. _No, I can't take that chance, no matter how small it is. I can't risk Milah's lad…_ But what else was there?

Frustration and indecision swirled in him like a violent vortex as the bitter tears finally came. He collapsed in the chair and spread the picture out on the table in front of him. "I don't know what to do." He sobbed. "I miss you, Milah. I _need_ you."

"Well, why didn't you just say so?"

The voice nearly made him fall out of his chair as he spun around. _Impossible._ The shock seemed to steal all the breath from his chest, just as she had stolen his heart, but there she was. _Milah?_

Killian stood up and began to rush forward to embrace her, hold her, tell her he loved her…but then he froze and took a step back. "No," he snarled. "It's not you. You're dead. This is a trick, it must be. Where is he, where's Pan?"

But Milah only smiled. "Killian, he's not here. _You_ called me. It's part of the magic of this place, it can summon anyone, even those lost, when one wishes it to be so strongly enough." She came forward and stroked his face. He flinched away from her hand, but just for a moment. It felt so warm, so _real_.

"But you're just an illusion I created, right? You're not really here?"

Her smile saddened. "Yes. But it feels real, doesn't it."

Tenderly, he lifted his hand to her face and caressed her cheek with his thumb, and brushed her beautiful dark hair away from her face. "Aye. It does…" and there were no words for how terrifying that was.

"Why are you here?" He asks, still searching those familiar eyes that aren't really there. "If you're not real, what can you possibly do?"

She shrugs. "Well, that really depends on you doesn't it? But perhaps I'm here to tell you something you need to hear, but aren't willing to tell yourself."

"And what's that?"

She sat on the bed and gestured for him to join her. Then she grasped his hand in both of hers. "You are trying so hard to do right by Bae and by me, and I love you for it, as I have always loved you." Her brow furrowed and that beautiful smile turned into a solemn frown. "But you are trying to be his hero, his guardian angel, and Killian, my love, you can't. You know better than most that there is no place for angels in Neverland."

"So what would you have me _do_?" He pleaded.

"Keep him safe, no matter what it takes, even if it makes him hate you." The wistful smile was back and she leaned forward to plant a gentle kiss on his cheek as she softly whispered in his ear.

"If it's not a guardian angel he needs… be his guardian demon."


End file.
